Self-Discovery

(it's been a while since i've posted. for the past month or so, i've been feeling down in the dumps as a music producer/writer...so i'm taking this time to let out how i feel)

"I am a poet, a musician, and a lyricist," how often do you hear of this?
I gaze within and call myself a hypocrite.
If I tell others to write and I don't, if I don't abide by the quote, what makes me so significant or different?

I ask myself, where lies the impor-tance? Am I a poet or a lyricist just 'cause I know what a meta-phor is?
Or maybe a simile? A musician because I sim-p-ly understand the system of grand staff's and rhythms without difficulty?

There's more than just knowledge of the motions and actions.
I am who I am because in my heart for the art I hold a passion...
For in my hands, I can turn turn a pen into a javelin, wearing a sword and shield, I am transformed into a champion.
But even champions drop the ball and tend to fall, and if you wonder at all, you ask yourself "how could this have happened?"

Inspiration I lacked and motivation barely supported my back, though I tried and tried with my efforts and ac-tions, I felt so weak. For through music I was mute and could not speak. For days, for weeks, for over a month and that was the peak.

However, I made the discovery, that growth came with every recovery, so one failure should never ever be governing the rest of life. So as long as I can pick up a mic, or pen to write, then I will spill my insight...

I will fall, but I will rise, and that's my plan.
Write? Make music? That I can't do.
But with inspiration and motivation...
"I can..."

a gaze at the world's state

(an excerpt from my persuasive speech for my speech/debate class...somewhat of an outro)

I gaze at the world today, mouth agape at what is shown…

children born in a cold world where violence, silence and murder roams. And it hurts to know that we give birth to homes that are converted to groves of tombstones and catacombs where the light dims low, a zone where death’s shadow grows, under your nose, to shiver your spine and leave you frozen, with a grasp never broken, a grasp forever choking the life of heroes and foes, no discrimination for those chosen.

Death is a reality, fatality is real and even innocent blood is spilled leaving blood baths filled. Digging early graves at an earlier age fates are sealed, dreams are unmade and pealed, and it seems like time sits still while we mourn and weep for lives unborn, thrown far and deep, six feet beneath the surface of the soil we reap and we collect tears in jars to douse the hearts charred by the flaming breath of death, marked by the starkness and darkness, marred and scarred beyond description, by affliction and pain while it rains the names of victims, the dirge is rhythm is played…slow, chords of despair and anguish grow, emphasized by the ebb and the flow, music played within the key of woe, a flow of melodious moans, harmonious drones, a call to your soul that sends a chill to your very bones. It takes a loss for us realize that we have no hold…over death we have no control…

I gaze at the world today, eyes dilated and widened. Staring into the heightened
times of crimes that we’re fighting. Against the waves fighting, tide s change and remain rising on the horizon, with sword and shields on battlefields colliding.
I gaze at the world today, with my eyes weeping and tearing, after hearing of nightmares made real that keep appearing. Nightmare’s recurring. Nightmares are born. And we’re deprived of our dreams and pried away from the morning…

"freedom"

my performance for my high school talent show: (one part in the clip skips for some reason. kinda weird, but whatever)

anyways...
up on stage, whoah man...i felt so much energy. there was roughly 600 people in the audience. and i was surprised i wasn't even nervous. i fed off of the growing energy and let it out. and oh what a feeling it was...

Freedom

...a song i wrote about the freedom of speech and its significance...

(Verse 1)

I was told to grab freedom by the reins, and hold on for my dear life, but I was captured by the ball and the chain, untamed for many days contained in a cage, like a beast under pressure and pain, rage grew passed the measuring gauge. Every day I was demoralized, I wondered why people looked at me through medusa’s eyes, leaving me…petrified, terrified, with a shivering spine, shackled, confined with nowhere to fly, placed in a cage ‘cause I spoke with a rhyme, a different tongue, a different tune from what the others sung, a man of different hue, colored brown, with a different sound and view. Because of my differences, I was caged, and wasn’t listened to. I couldn’t take anymore. My voice was dying to poured. So I ripped the floor, and tore apart the door, let myself free. With the strength from my core, freedom is what I fight for.(

(Hook)

I have the freedom to speak and the freedom to write, the freedom to rock the stage and the freedom to rock the mic, these are the freedoms I exercise. I give birth to the verse and I give my words life.

I have the freedom to speak and the freedom to write, the freedom to express and provide mind’s insight. Freedom is ours. Freedom is yours and freedom is mine. Freedom is the power and I hold inside.

(verse 2)

I ask you to hold freedom by the reins. And if a fight remains, then fight for change, fight for life, fight for days. Don’t be contained, enslaved, be as free as the flame that sets the stage ablaze, flow freely like the blood in your veins. If you ever have something to say, then state your claims, speak and convey, don’t leave yourself detained or chained. Let your voice by the blade that levels any terrain. Speak and grow with the torrent of the rivers flows, deliver the blows, shine bright and let your freedom show, speak with strength that never falls or folds. March and hold up you’re your defense; break down the walls of Jericho. Let freedom ring. From the north, south, west to east. Let your voice be heard. Let the chance be seized. Let the world heed the roar of a beast. Hear me. I am free, from the ball and chain released.

(hook)

My Music Piece Called "Life"

[this is actually my college essay i wrote in last semester's english class. we just had to write about what makes us different from other people. so i chose to write about me being a musician, and continued to write how i am different from other musicians]

I am alive...
In what sense am I alive? I live within the upright vibe and melodious rhythm and rhymes from my own mind. I am a music producer and I am an emcee, or you can call me a "rapper" casually, or a lyricist of reality. I am a Master of Ceremonies. I Move the Crowd when from my dome compound im speaking out so loud. With these words I pro-nounce, I hold the flow down. I hit mach 5 passed the barrier of sound with no intentions of slowing down...

I am alive...
Even after I cease to be and breathe the very last breath in me, I will live through the ears of my listening peers. In that way I remain a living entity eternally. Forever will I be entering minds, rendering lines of harmonious chimes, whipping up a batch of words to catch, a perfect recipe of my identity with no comparison or match to rival that of my advanced and acrobatic acts. Genuinely, my style is mathematically and exponentially surpassed that of your typical rap. To say it and lay it out flat simply? It's a fact...

I am alive...
You can try to bring my music to an early end. You can take away my instruments, my hardware or software, you can take away every ingredient, but you can't take away the musician. You can't take away that raw element. You can't take away my thoughts, nor the melodies within my mental. I am a living and breathing instrument, my body and life itself is instrumental.

I am alive...
My birth was my first notation upon the grand staff illustration. I'm never off beat. My life's tempo marches and bounces with every abrupt and syncopation. My name is my time signature, and that time is the present scene. It's evident, my life is a masterpiece upon the music sheet. My heart pulses, and even in my sleep as i breathe deep, my heart makes a constant beat.

I live in days of major and minors chords filled with sharps and flats.
I live to create music based on that...
based upon my current mood,
to create with notes a certain groove.
I live to paint the canvas with the fullness of the spectrum
with every sound and notation, and create music based upon my life's reflection.