Ask Questions?

Why is the blue sky?
Why does grey skies depress people?
Why is yelling perceived as bad?
Why don't people talk in elevators?
Why do we listen to beats more than lyrics?
Why would you superman that hoe?
Why are you pussy patrolling my vajayjay?
Where are the bouncers in the club when males are harassing females?
Where are the women who pay for men's drinks in the club?
Where are the Asian sistas on top model?
Where are the Asian sistas who marry white guys?
Where are the Asian folks on TV?
Where are the folks who scream for a change?
Where are the folks screaming to be heard?
Where are all folks screaming for our young people?
Where were you when your Asian sistas get raped?
Where were you when your Asian sistas get sold?
Where are all the protesters of the war?
Where are all the protesters of bush?
When can I call you my brotha?
When can I call you my sista?
When can I rely on you to scream?
When can I rely on you to rely on me?
When Can I say that I am proud to be an American?
When can I say that I fought for your safety?
When can I not be afraid to walk around at night?
when can I not be afraid to get drunk in a club?
When can I call you my brotha?
When can I call you my sista?
How do we not get 'caught up'?
How do we plan on saving lives?
How do we plan on being a better person?
How do we plan on marching together?
How do we know it's a better place?
How do we live without war?
How do we live without peace?
How do we learn without war?
How do we learn without struggle?
How do we learn without teaching?
How do we learn without peace?
How do we learn without hurting?
How do we learn without being uncomfortable?

Why don't we ask more questions?

Because this world is ugly

In light of recent events
I need to apologize
My tounge was caught in a state of shock
A momentary lapse of concentration

My tounge was temporarily out of service
It took a leave of absence
sick leave
Sick of work

Hoping to project itself into the cranium
Hoping/waiting/rejuvenating
Hoping that ESP would be enough to stop a war
Hoping that for once an army would come

nothing.
nothing happened
nothing would ever happen
not like this

for this reason, i picked up my guitar
not knowing how to play
I stummed the strings to chords in my lungs
I sang, even though I couldn't fathom how to and why

Can I sing for you?

Desperately searching for an honest answer
baby takes her momma's hand and walks along the street
momma's trying to buy you a mocking bird
mocking all the sadness in our lives, because...
because sometimes, times like these need laughs

If that mocking bird don't sing
momma's gonna buy you some time
time to create your own stage
your own voice/rhythm/rhyme/time

If that voice/rhyme don't work
momma's gonna take the time to love you still
The song's incomplete but baby holds on tight to her momma's hand
The strings of the guitar vibrate and pass the guitar on

Are you strong enough to sing with me?

something kept close to my fingers for a really long time

i had wrapped the world in white paper
in hopes that it would ignite fire and catch wind
and some careless man with steel toe boots
tried to disprove mother nature
i regrettably put my faith in you
waited for whispers hibernating in your throat
slept on your lips for days
a kiss caught on the thorns surrounding your mouth
i don’t care how your face looked like when we hugged
or when i walked away
i thought that if i could bury you in the snow
i could save you for a better tomorrow
i wanted to be held
like Neruda clenching his soul
Miles and his trumpet to sustain me with starlight
i had crawled into bed and tried to dream up a poem
but there was nothing more i could write about
to catch me when I fall
i have burned the memories slumped onto mattresses
risen from homicidal outlines
to be content
without tornados in my chest
without fluttering inside this body
just a drum that keeps me going in this world
and a moist tea bag saturating my mouth
is all i ever wanted

continuation.

it's almost 4:30am of what used to be a friday night. i stayed home wondering what i was wondering and came back around wondering what i had wondered about. some may say that when you're halfway delirious with sleepy thoughts you can't say when you're entirely awake, you say things you don't mean. you think thoughts that are off the wrong walls of a room with none to begin with.

to begin with, as far as i'm concerned, there is no such thing as a beginning. only continuations of what has already previously been...so to begin with -- i'll continue. my brain simply a slaughterhouse of emotions, reactions, and memories. the wrong remembrances of the moments i recall as i think to myself in half awake stupor -- my goodness...life, you are insane. i don't believe in normalcy when an everyday factor to life is it's capacity and persistence on changing everything you thought you knew to be real...fiction is truth in its more creative tones. lies are truths no one wants to speak. pain is so that pleasure and peace will surface. i know nothing and with that, i can know more...

each time i say goodbye, i am instead greeted by more memories of you than i had previously remembered even experiencing. i have no new beginnings with you, but i continue to love you instead...just as i had with each day that has reached it's close...there is nowhere to start but to fall deeper into a hole where love is almost the only reason i can't escape. and i, human all the way down to the crack in my bones when i'm aching from turning my head too far back in hopes to find you...standing there...in a corner of the room i didn't see before...maybe behind the lamppost that brought light to all my biggest fears and worries...

...to begin with, i understand there is no such thing as a beginning. and yet, i am learning, though this may defy my own gravity of truth as i may know it currently...but there may just be...

...an end.

*Losing My Ability.

I must confess
whenever i see you, i start to undress you,
both mentally and physically
and don't be offended,
i don't mind if you blush, or wanna make me feel rejected;
you just don't know what you do to me!.
every move you make makes me shake,
each sound syllable you utter melts me like fire to butter,
the gentle touch of your eyes and tug of your hug disarms me,
harms me in such a way that i just can't help but to convey
as something that hurts but heals,
sings sermons but steals,
opens every window in the universe! but seals,
blocks every sensory perception but still feels,
the aching need to somehow defy any convention and take me,
just take all of me in,
inhale my soul and swig me like gin,
be careless with merits but cringe to feel this sin,
wince and wither from your gentle whisper,
kid at how you make me feel like a kid again,
young at heart,
while subsequently you're the thief that pierces my lungs like a dart,
leaving me breathless,
and despite this lyrical excess of longing,
know that all i'm yearning for is that sense of belonging,
rainy days i'll be your awning,
admiring infinitely of your sincerity,
focused drive and crystal clarity,
because you're impairing me
of my vision, sight and touch,
got me losing everything except your very essence, explainable only by
your name
somehow still on my brain,
i want you in my life;
why can't it all be so simply and plain.

My Sunday Morning

Switch on the TV in hopes it's in color
They say, Asians don't need color TV's
They say we don't need it
because everyone, everything, every channel is still in black & white.

Reach for my energy drink
It doesn't give me any more energy then sex on a cool day
It doesn't do anything for me
because i'm looking for substance in sustenance form

Today proves to be a difficult one from the getgo
Today, gravity just seems to work against me
So, i'm bouncing from idea to idea
Like a chicken with it's head chopped off

Rearrange my body, turning over in hopes of another hour
Rearrange my thoughts, maybe I can lie myself outta this one
Rearrange my hands, maybe I can sex myself back into sleep
Rearrange my thoughts, maybe i should wake up


it's Wednesday

just like a star

october:
sober from summer
over the slumber
awake and star gazing
painting portraits
of poets with the
aligning of stars

because each star seems to
speak a bit of truth

a rose.

[...in loving memory...]
you were a rose too beautiful for anything on earth
so God restored you to the sky
where only the clouds could help you grow the wings you needed
so you can fly over us and watch us
wrap those wings around us to protect us as we dream

and now you sleep soundly on the rainbows that ignite your beauty
like a flame catching fire on a spectrum in all its different shades
reflecting across our tired eyes

each time i look to the sky
a feather from your wings lifts my spirit
the sun rested on your eyelashes
that each time you opened your eyes
a new day began with your awakening
i am reminded of you and i can't help but smile.
because i know i slept in the embrace of an angel
before this new day reached existence.

i have a cold.

the pressures pulsating in his upper nasal passages push the mind out of the crown and up through the atmosphere into his dreams. the lifted state of the insidious thoughts he dreamt up can't match those that he witnessed through the eyes of another. accidental and irreversable sparks fly deep into the red sky. the scales grow and cover his chest, disguising the empty crevice where his muscles used to pump the river-like lifeline of intensity. microbacteria spread and eat the spongiformed folds in the heavens. orange-peel moon rises above the foggy clouds that disguise the polluted sky as a silky veil. unraveling the knots that form his self-righteous self-schemas and self-esteem blossoms into self-efficacy. too bad my self-perceived false consensus is, in actuality, nothing but a false uniqueness effect. fuck, look at me, i'm learning. lifeline pulsing in my mind; too bad she's too young; too bad she's too fun; too bad she's too fucked up; too bad she's too gone. gazing into his corneia only to realize it's void and blank; he has no pupils. no students. no one to learn. no one to throw their hands up to the sky to grab his mind and bring it back down to reality from the dreamy cloud-whisps...no one to tame his metaphors and similes and confusion and have you ever seen love personified?

In putting action to our words: Filipinos denigrated on ABC's "Desperate Housewives"

Dear Kababayan and Allies:

I heard through the grapevine about a remark made on
an episode of "Desperate Housewives" last night. The scene entailed
Teri Hatcher's character (Susan) at a hospital, being told by her
gynecologist that she might be hitting menopause. Susan replied, "Can I
just check those diplomas because I just want to make sure that they
are not from some med school in the Philippines. " If you go to abc.com,
you watch the full episode and witness the scene at about 18:50
minutes into the episode.

This type of derogatory remark is not only unnecessary
and hurtful, but is also unfounded, considering the presence of
Filipinos and Filipino Americans in the health care industry.
Filipinos are the second largest immigrant population in the United
States, with many entering the U.S. and passing their U.S. licensing
boards as doctors, nurses, and medical technicians. In fact, the
Philippines produces more U.S. nurses than any other country in the world.
So, to belittle the education, experience, or value of Filipino
Americans in health care is disrespectful and plain and simply ignorant.

As Filipino Americans, we need to band together to
ensure that this type of hateful message is not allowed to continue on
our television and radio airwaves. Given the recent amounts of media
attention that has been given to Michael Richards (against African
Americans), Isaiah Washington (against gays), and Rosie O'Donnell
(against Asian/ Chinese Americans), it is ridiculous that this type of hateful
speech made it through various screenwriters, the show's producers,
the show's actors, and ABC itself. Yet, this isn't the first time that negative
remarks have been made about the Philippines or Filipinos in the past.
In recent years, we've heard one too many "dogeater" comments by
"comedian" Joan Rivers on the red carpet or in her standup act, and I
believe that it is about time that we stand up for ourselves, so that
this type of hateful speech never happens again.

Please join me in expressing your concern,
disappointment, and/or disgust to the producers of ABC.com. You can sign the petition at http://www.petitiononline.com/FilABC/petition.html or you can
reach them directly abc7@abc.com.

And please feel free to forward this widely to other
Filipinos/ Filipino Americans/ Asian Americans/ and other allies.