high six

super unfinished and not edited but its cool. oh and just to let you know i have six fingers on my right hand and only my right hand weirrrrrrrrd i know.

too often i stare at my hands
wondering
contemplating and differentiating
between what my hands tend to do
and what they intend to do
because there is a difference.
are they bound to a life
of meager work
that match their feminine stature?
or are they mean for that gritty shit
that's reflected from the scars and
grease that cover them.
Or perhaps does their misshapen symetry
have a particular use that has not been revealed to me?
Is their unique shape that missing
puzzle piece that makes my
hand fit yours in such a perfect manner
that i makes it hard to let you go?
I'd like my hands to have that unique ability
to change whatever it was I touched
from it's original form,
to something better.
I want them to leave imprints and impressions
so deep in whatever i touch
that they make caves in people's souls,
so that my song may resonate and
resound in them like and echo
that never fades.
my hands yearn for that touch so electric,
that they'd go numb in the instance
that we meet.
That kind of touch that sends a shock to
your heart and makes it skip a beat
or two
or three.
Thay want to be free
to explore the curves around that girl's face
and find their warmth entangled with her hair,
and maybe lose feeling from a bite on their
wrist.
As clumsy and faulty as my hands can be
they tend to find their confidence
during certain times.
Like when they are wrapped around a pen
dancing across pages
or when they are grasping tight
to a steering wheel.
or better yet
when they are shaky and inconfident
they find their strength when
they are clasped around yours
as if in the mids of their torrential trembling
they find a calm in the storm
when you happen to be around.

yeahhhhh

she is the song i cant get out of my head.
that tone that rings in your ears.
you've disrupted my highest
and lowest frequencies.
i've learned to only hear your song.

two minutes.

*this is no longer relevant. i wrote this a while ago while i was still lovey dovey with an ex.

I can’t paint a picture to tell you how I feel
But I can recite infinite words from infinite verses
And if for two minutes, you keep your lips sealed
I can recite you some emotions in two minute splurges
It could be me and you and our hands in between
And if I drew the hole in your heart, would you pencil me in?
I’ll create you a piece filled with nothing but whispers
In your ear, I want to…
Carelessly whisper
Sweet nothings until those nothings turn into quivers
A soft touch from our lips, they linger
But trust me, if I was just a little bit richer
I’d take you to all the galaxies
Ride a shooting star where your love can straddle me
Cradle me
In the grooves of your arms
Tell me I’m your queen and king you’re my star
Shooting distances where only your paper and my pen can meet
Like graffiti to a wall
You’re my blessing in the streets
And your heart, is my present in disguise
Silently asking to keep it by the look in my eyes
And I’ll mold your fingers to interlock with mine
Like I said in the last poem, we match
But this time it’s like good food and wine
The silhouette of our kiss is like love’s new design
And this is no longer child’s play
Cause we’re growing into refined
The syllables of your mouth are being embedded in my mind
And for some reason, that’s all I can say
It’s a night different from others with confessions made
And for tonight, I’ll wear my heart on my sleeves
Then morning, you’ll see it lay upon my jeans
Right next to “weak” whose house is in my knees
Three uttered words, let my heart be the mouth
Last confession made
My two minutes is almost out
So let me paint a picture with the words stumbling out
Let me scribble marks over yesterday’s doubts
And let me edit our emotions with today’s marks
Transform what we had into a modern day spark
And it’s pointless to tell you that I’m in love with art,
but I think you’ll like it when I say that the best part of your “heART” is the art.

freestyle.

ok soo...it's been forever since i've freestyled, so i wanted to try it again. i know it doesn't make sense or anything, but gotta keep the freestyle as raw as possible...i don't wanna read it again or else i'll edit it, so here goes...hope you likes...

------------

lynnerdz (1:45:18 AM): ...i was waiting for his green light
lynnerdz (1:45:26 AM): and i was so ready and set to go
lynnerdz (1:45:30 AM): i met him before daylight savings
lynnerdz (1:45:32 AM): the sun was still out
lynnerdz (1:45:46 AM): sun streaked days and i couldn't wait to watch them steal away to night
lynnerdz (1:45:54 AM): i'm down for this struggle of squinting my eyes
lynnerdz (1:46:00 AM): if it's him i'm tryna find through the moonlight
lynnerdz (1:46:06 AM): and there was something about the light
lynnerdz (1:46:10 AM): he always reminded me to search deeper for it
lynnerdz (1:46:17 AM): i figured it should've been more obvious maybe
lynnerdz (1:46:23 AM): more mysterious maybe
lynnerdz (1:46:27 AM): even more hidden in a sense
lynnerdz (1:46:32 AM): and maybe i'd know where to find it
lynnerdz (1:46:33 AM): maybe
lynnerdz (1:46:39 AM): ...but then again i was squinting
lynnerdz (1:46:45 AM): searching too hard for what should've been obvious
lynnerdz (1:46:51 AM): it was, after all...only daylight
lynnerdz (1:47:03 AM): and he was ready to save me away from the days i left behind in the past
lynnerdz (1:47:08 AM): i'm ready to struggle through the sunlight
lynnerdz (1:47:13 AM): just as long as it's his warmth i'm feeling
lynnerdz (1:47:27 AM): it's sickening almost how sweet he makes me wanna be
lynnerdz (1:47:33 AM): like too much candy i can't stomach the thought
lynnerdz (1:47:36 AM): and maybe...
lynnerdz (1:47:38 AM): maybe...
lynnerdz (1:47:45 AM): maybe it would make more sense if i had him in smaller doses
lynnerdz (1:47:49 AM): i'm down for the balance
lynnerdz (1:47:56 AM): just as long as he's the one keeping me grounded
lynnerdz (1:48:02 AM): founded on this floored mentality of his existence
lynnerdz (1:48:07 AM): it's dope tho i have to admit
lynnerdz (1:48:11 AM): watching him shine through my life
lynnerdz (1:48:15 AM): just like daylight
lynnerdz (1:48:17 AM): and maybe...
lynnerdz (1:48:25 AM): maybe he'll shine me back to reality
lynnerdz (1:48:37 AM): and then i had to remember it was only daylight savings
lynnerdz (1:48:47 AM): i could only fall back onto what already existed
lynnerdz (1:48:54 AM): his breath was all i could remember tho
lynnerdz (1:49:13 AM): springing me forward into that reality
lynnerdz (1:49:16 AM): i'm tired i guess
lynnerdz (1:49:28 AM): and after losing an hour
lynnerdz (1:49:29 AM): or two
lynnerdz (1:49:33 AM): and gaining it back again
lynnerdz (1:49:37 AM): maybe he didn't save me at all
lynnerdz (1:49:43 AM): from the light i was squinting too hard to see
lynnerdz (1:49:47 AM): he just caught me in mid fall
lynnerdz (1:49:54 AM): he saved daylight...not me.

hella down.

...i'm hella down for all this uncertainty
just as long as you're not sure either
i'm down to never find what i'm looking for
just as long as you're holding my hand as we search
life -- i'm hella down to go through this journey with you...

lovelovelove

[unfinished, as always]

i stole his glances
locked them away in my eyelids
so he'd always get lost in my eyes
looking for them in each stare
i took his breath away
and kept it inside my heart
so anytime it would skip a beat
i'd use his exhale to revive me
back to consciousness
but even then
if he was the reality i had to face
face to face
lip to lip
i'd wake up to
i'd love to wake up, too
and it was he
that made it difficult to dream
he - the walking paradox
my living complication
of love's blind simplicity

Invitation for HellaPoetic:

Thanks Mike for letting me get on this blog. I may not be a poet, but maybe some of my art can influence someones poem. Well if dinosaurs are your thing..haha. Anyways, i wanted to take the time to post an invitation to poets in the bay area:

The Individual Collective gallery is searching for local poets and spoken word artists to showcase their talent at the new venue in downtown Vallejo. Message me back ASAP if you are interested in taking part of this event. The flier is in the works so the sooner you message, guarantees a spot on the flier.

Title: Individual Collective presents…HellaPoetic
Hosts: Dyno and Ave
Where: IC Gallery
When: Friday, March 27,2009
Time:7-10pm

Emcee: Mandeep Sethi

Evening sounds by: DJ Rod Roc

Performers so far: Ave, Eileen Hidalgo, Earnest, and more.

Details: Individual Collective is presenting HellaPoetic featuring bay area poets and spoken word artists. The event is also including live art by Individual Collective and an acoustic performance by Swim to Sydney. In addition the topics of love, sex, and relationships will be covered by James and Marc of Lexationships.

"**Video Interviews w/ White Slough Residents**".

This isn't really a piece, but nonetheless, it's sentiments from the soul.

Vallejo homeless residents have been socially invisible for far too long. If you haven't heard, the homeless residents of the White Slough, a marshland area behind Sonoma Blvd., were "evicted" on Friday, 3/6/09 from their dwellings without any alternatives or aid. It's not the fault of the police or the city per say - it's our entire city's fault. And now we need to work together to find solutions. By advocating for our vulnerable homeless population, we're practicing real compassion and community, plus we'd be improving the quality of life in the city for ALL.

============================

From ServeOurVallejoHomeless.blogspot.com:

We feel that it's absolutely essential to hear from the residents themselves. We need to hear their stories. Marc Garman of Vallejo Independent Bulletin and community volunteer Doug Darling did some great work capturing sentiments shared by the some of the White Slough residents. But the real work was done by the homeless residents who resiliently continue to endure. Special thanks to those who graciously shared their stories with the public. Footage was shot on 3/4/09 and can be found at http://ibvallejo.com/ or http://vimeo.com/3497529.

We hope this adds a deeper human dimension to the oversimplified "issue" of homelessness in Vallejo.


White Slough Homeless Encampment--3/4/09 from Marc Garman on Vimeo.

To help, visit ServeOurVallejoHomeless.blogspot.com
or email ServeOurVallejoHomeless@gmail.com

Peace and Godspeed!

this is nothing great.. this post is due to this very shitty monday..

do you really need to validate my worth through another person?

i’m choking, kicking, palpitating,

fighting, crying,

begging, and

yelling…………………. silently……………..

for answers that you can’t seem to provide me.

ah, to write again.

i feel like fucking up,
i'm aware that i'm in deep enough to hurt the both of us,
but, amor...i'm just scared.
because if we last long enough to somehow make the rest of our lives work,
i can't imagine the sacrifices that would have to be made.
one of us has to give up all that we've been working for.
so,
amor,
what should we be living towards?
i'm caged from all directions in this United System,
been climbing for higher education,
trying to reach the top of this metal only to awake everyday for with a sunny view of captivity;
been flying through time for bullshit i'm trying to be passionate about,
but only you inspire me nowadays.
it's all i know so, how can i leave this way? i won't ever want you to stay.
but, i admit,
i can't even dream anymore without you;
soon...again, soon, your overworked, two jobs back to back arms will be holding me in whatever little pool of seconds the world allows us to bask in.
i'm about let a beautiful brown brother feel that i'm falling in love with him all over, yet again.
'cause the scent of your tired skin and happy heart affect my tastebuds and
your name falls like honey from my lips for any reason.
i work harder, step happier, stand stronger,
knowing that when i relax into your tired bones, i deserve to be living beside you.
so sweet is this simple love, progressing all naturally.
and quite suddenly,
i understand why baduism states,
"you be boy and i'll be girl."
i've seen this in the world and this feeling is not new to me.
universe, ---he places me in his heart unfiltered;
sediments of shortcomings and regrets broken down by his hands towards these confusions of worth, clear like sudden epiphanies.
this is a simple romance,
cleansing purified water flaming ice through your chest.
it is not new to me,
but this happiness is.
this worry is.
everyday is suddenly new.


(this is incomplete.
plug: check out my radio show every tuesday 11AM to noon, KSFS.SFSU.EDU
listen to me talk stupid, play some jams, and occasionally do some words spoken!) hehe.