blue skies fly by as i wonder why
whether what i do is worthwhile
or if its just my
way to cope with the past
or to avoid being mad, it's sad how

gray skies stand still forever until
i find a reason to climb hills
and find the one whereby
i rise above gray skies
and clear my gray mind, and yet

i rise and i fall, too often it seems
sun beams through clouds not often enough
or... maybe i'm wrong
maybe it's the way i wear shades all day
to stop the sun flow

i miss my brothers. i miss my sisters.
i hide behind walls of silicon
anonymous my name, forgetting my game
reason to live is to escape the flame
hide from what is, deny what exists

but this is a mistake.

i shut you out with a smile and a nod
a friendly motherfucker, but by god
you try to get close i clam up in shell
i feed you information to bring us together
i can't help it, but i can't decide whether
these bits are true and if thats what i really am

everybody knows me better than i know myself.
why, then, am i not letting them help me?
i'm just a blind person performing surgery.
it's a lonerectomy, trying to remove the part of me
that gives up, that hides away.

tomorrow brings another bright sky
bright sky hangs high as i wonder why
whether what i do means something
or if it's just my way to move on
or if i'm just standing still.

still up

the headache from no sleep...lurks.
there it stands, there it waits insecure.
perched atop a mellow tree that always bends
all friends, all family are poked by fall bark ends.

the wind will blow then the tree will sway,
just to bother all others along the haze.
the line of few amidst the maze,
will be tapped by the tree to see clouds above daze
night shall descend into a offering of new light
9 nimbus brain sights just play out whats right.
the rest is just at best...all hype,

so...1 will come forth and challenge the sadness.
worried through signs from a morning dream's practice
whats the madness all mean from just an idle question.
when the session is with an idol from which I have gained an obsession.
keep searching the lesson on why she was mentioned
yes, that person where love lost and leaving had been destined...


"Confusion Over Dreams..."