i find myself finding peace in his presence.
his aura could put me to sleep
because i feel so comfortable basking in the intensity of its calm.
but i'd want nothing more than to just stay awake for a lifetime,
so i don't miss a beat.
my breath of fresh air
every time our breaths collide
in the midst of a chaotic life of confusion.
my clarity after all this emotional mess of a life i've been.
i am, for lack of a better way of expressing it, collected now.
he pieces me back together,
and a sigh of relief releases from my lips as he reminds me;
life goes on,
love endures,
and if we can endure to the edge of forever...
we could catch onto and get a good tight grip on this thing called love.
and if possible,
simultaneously fall into its expressive twists and turns,
holding fast the sincerity it eases me into...
so, genuinely --
i want to share with him a life only imagined by the dreamers that dream wide awake;
setting imagination on fire with a passionate love
only found among those that find peace in each other's souls,
falling deep while holding on so damn tight
...onto this thing called love.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
cranial splooge, needs work.
um brain flow, not a song. fail/win
I write, my brain ignites parts dealing with language and visual imagery,
I type blindly, eyes closed, fingers tap nimbly, sometimes tumbling.
preferring the dark to open up my perception,
eyes wide shut, reality not perceived now more or less concepted,
without light washing everything, I relate more to my reflection
close my eyes and what to or do i see,
no words, just blank, light through flesh looks green,
patters that entwine and twirl constantly,
the mosaic dance of geometry in my mind display
kinda reminds me of a ladder, amino acids, DNA?
isn’t DNA at the molecular level, imperceptible to naked optical veins
requiring the aid of mechanics to magnify it’s peptide chains?
occipital lobe transmitting and sending in code
and I wonder,
so what does the optical nerve receive in the dark sending,
transmissions to my neural cortex for rendering
to perceive anything without vision, is that thought or environmental stimulus?
without visible light, what exists beyond physical witness?
the thesis of science and physics once explained,
without tangible data, measurement, or mathematical certainty, metaphysical distained-
everything was matter, nothing else, things were as only what we could see
convenient thought to those caught up in lives busy things,
devoting time to their drive to attain more gold more health, the modern dream
I understand why, then also not. schools of thought conflict and and I ponder,
minutes, hours, years, I examine thought life as I wander
eventually one of these days,
ill choose what to believe, and perceive according so
rhetorically asking, always questioning what im told,
is the only way to live, im sorry, my soul and spirit given are bold,
and feel so uncomfortable with complacently getting old.
That’s the reason I give to my ADD,
its not a disorder, thats why I never claim it,
I simply name it so relate it to anyone else labeled and made feeling unable
I am NOT learning disabled, I am boundless in capability,
what I have is a state because of a overly excited reality
a multitude of options to experience, exponentially higher than the generations my senior,
since 1982, I had cartoons, fast food, and high fructose sweetener.
then it got even worse, with MTV, when I was 14 I was on AOL, chatting with pedophiles about NSync.
I was lucky, I was 17 with my first mobile phone,
a mototorla, the fat flip. analog, with straight tones, not-RING TONES.
it had 60 minutes a month, for 40 bucks prepaid,
and omg it was big as a brick, thick, and probally thats how much it weighed.
what the heck more now with ipods and touch,
Facebook, and tweets, and dear lord, unlimited texts for low cost?
So many interesting, disgusting, things I hear, touch, taste, and see,
my attention is commanded like stingy portion butter spread way too thinly,
how the hell could i keep still in this field of exiting irritation, to my psyche?
I thank my mom and dad for not sending me to to get the fix,
ritalin had my classmates piddling and twiddling their thumbs, obedient
my choice to get drugged later on was my own, it came and went.
education is a joke, it only chokes the only hope of freedom from illusion,
teaching only how to conform, and turn off your brains, leaving one in confusion,
if you could and you would succeed you did as a parrot,
put back onto paper what they told you, and kept daily attendance,
stayed active in extra curricular gigs, if you had the money, or the fafsa, you got into college,
where there is still a glimmer of substance for the uninitiated,
still turns out droves of tools for corporate wage enslavement
and wonder why we aren’t happy, even when we comfortably maintain
the status quo of society, cause you know inside its all its fake
only the few let that feeling rise to the conscious,
leaving them unsettled at first, then from there its just
either being always mad, or unresponsive
accepting where you are, or accepting responsibility
complacency is chosen, not imposed on or rewarded,
one of infinite paths of destiny to go with…
I digress, back to eyeballs in the dark, writing what I didn’t know how to say
cranial ,cerebral, the brain, rods and light and photons and rays,
names for things that never fully explain
sustaining the mundane, science divides through nomenclature
separating all of one sum into parts, calling them elements of nature,
defacing the beauty and erring the name of what is all of creation.
I remember I was 18, reading my first book on the new science,
it was about schrodingers cat, how it existed and didn’t,
when put in a box, it had two quantum positions,
it was, and it was not, there was no difference,
the cute kitty was there, and it wasn’t, all in the eternal instant.
it took me years to understand what the heck this dude was saying,
it was star wars stuff to me, everything is one, we’re strings!
vibration is the function though which energy is expressed,
nullifying and minimizing the concept of death, energy never ends, it transforms, absolute zero is where we come from, from nothing is everything, yielding
infinite possibility from anything, broken down smaller than elements,
smaller than atoms, then electrons, ions, we are also the space in between them, composed sub atomic woven networks bound by magnetic hems
well then that made sense, cause God said, “let there be light”
started his creation, which only after illumination, also created what was called first night.
in accordance with something i figured out when i was 12 or so, engaged in art,
light needed shadow to create lines which defined space apart,
lines, creating images, images represent structures and living,
without shadow, there would be no way to perceive what was in our vision.
white is only the combining of wavelengths expressed, a.k.a. colors,
yet if everything was white, then who could tell one from the other?
yet the same is in the dark, black, as we chose to describe it,
without light, black appears as the the state of blindness.
Why don’t we call blind peoples vision the state of whiteness?
At least in the dark, you can make up what you see, as long as you’re calm, your mind is free.
too much light overwhelms the eye, that- is truly blinding.
Too much bright light feels like too much loud sound,
filling the head with the feeling its drowned.
It never hurts when its too much dark, it doesn’t even make sense, too much dark. lol
I write, my brain ignites parts dealing with language and visual imagery,
I type blindly, eyes closed, fingers tap nimbly, sometimes tumbling.
preferring the dark to open up my perception,
eyes wide shut, reality not perceived now more or less concepted,
without light washing everything, I relate more to my reflection
close my eyes and what to or do i see,
no words, just blank, light through flesh looks green,
patters that entwine and twirl constantly,
the mosaic dance of geometry in my mind display
kinda reminds me of a ladder, amino acids, DNA?
isn’t DNA at the molecular level, imperceptible to naked optical veins
requiring the aid of mechanics to magnify it’s peptide chains?
occipital lobe transmitting and sending in code
and I wonder,
so what does the optical nerve receive in the dark sending,
transmissions to my neural cortex for rendering
to perceive anything without vision, is that thought or environmental stimulus?
without visible light, what exists beyond physical witness?
the thesis of science and physics once explained,
without tangible data, measurement, or mathematical certainty, metaphysical distained-
everything was matter, nothing else, things were as only what we could see
convenient thought to those caught up in lives busy things,
devoting time to their drive to attain more gold more health, the modern dream
I understand why, then also not. schools of thought conflict and and I ponder,
minutes, hours, years, I examine thought life as I wander
eventually one of these days,
ill choose what to believe, and perceive according so
rhetorically asking, always questioning what im told,
is the only way to live, im sorry, my soul and spirit given are bold,
and feel so uncomfortable with complacently getting old.
That’s the reason I give to my ADD,
its not a disorder, thats why I never claim it,
I simply name it so relate it to anyone else labeled and made feeling unable
I am NOT learning disabled, I am boundless in capability,
what I have is a state because of a overly excited reality
a multitude of options to experience, exponentially higher than the generations my senior,
since 1982, I had cartoons, fast food, and high fructose sweetener.
then it got even worse, with MTV, when I was 14 I was on AOL, chatting with pedophiles about NSync.
I was lucky, I was 17 with my first mobile phone,
a mototorla, the fat flip. analog, with straight tones, not-RING TONES.
it had 60 minutes a month, for 40 bucks prepaid,
and omg it was big as a brick, thick, and probally thats how much it weighed.
what the heck more now with ipods and touch,
Facebook, and tweets, and dear lord, unlimited texts for low cost?
So many interesting, disgusting, things I hear, touch, taste, and see,
my attention is commanded like stingy portion butter spread way too thinly,
how the hell could i keep still in this field of exiting irritation, to my psyche?
I thank my mom and dad for not sending me to to get the fix,
ritalin had my classmates piddling and twiddling their thumbs, obedient
my choice to get drugged later on was my own, it came and went.
education is a joke, it only chokes the only hope of freedom from illusion,
teaching only how to conform, and turn off your brains, leaving one in confusion,
if you could and you would succeed you did as a parrot,
put back onto paper what they told you, and kept daily attendance,
stayed active in extra curricular gigs, if you had the money, or the fafsa, you got into college,
where there is still a glimmer of substance for the uninitiated,
still turns out droves of tools for corporate wage enslavement
and wonder why we aren’t happy, even when we comfortably maintain
the status quo of society, cause you know inside its all its fake
only the few let that feeling rise to the conscious,
leaving them unsettled at first, then from there its just
either being always mad, or unresponsive
accepting where you are, or accepting responsibility
complacency is chosen, not imposed on or rewarded,
one of infinite paths of destiny to go with…
I digress, back to eyeballs in the dark, writing what I didn’t know how to say
cranial ,cerebral, the brain, rods and light and photons and rays,
names for things that never fully explain
sustaining the mundane, science divides through nomenclature
separating all of one sum into parts, calling them elements of nature,
defacing the beauty and erring the name of what is all of creation.
I remember I was 18, reading my first book on the new science,
it was about schrodingers cat, how it existed and didn’t,
when put in a box, it had two quantum positions,
it was, and it was not, there was no difference,
the cute kitty was there, and it wasn’t, all in the eternal instant.
it took me years to understand what the heck this dude was saying,
it was star wars stuff to me, everything is one, we’re strings!
vibration is the function though which energy is expressed,
nullifying and minimizing the concept of death, energy never ends, it transforms, absolute zero is where we come from, from nothing is everything, yielding
infinite possibility from anything, broken down smaller than elements,
smaller than atoms, then electrons, ions, we are also the space in between them, composed sub atomic woven networks bound by magnetic hems
well then that made sense, cause God said, “let there be light”
started his creation, which only after illumination, also created what was called first night.
in accordance with something i figured out when i was 12 or so, engaged in art,
light needed shadow to create lines which defined space apart,
lines, creating images, images represent structures and living,
without shadow, there would be no way to perceive what was in our vision.
white is only the combining of wavelengths expressed, a.k.a. colors,
yet if everything was white, then who could tell one from the other?
yet the same is in the dark, black, as we chose to describe it,
without light, black appears as the the state of blindness.
Why don’t we call blind peoples vision the state of whiteness?
At least in the dark, you can make up what you see, as long as you’re calm, your mind is free.
too much light overwhelms the eye, that- is truly blinding.
Too much bright light feels like too much loud sound,
filling the head with the feeling its drowned.
It never hurts when its too much dark, it doesn’t even make sense, too much dark. lol
Monday, June 6, 2011
"Roses are Red"
written for two of my friends that got married :)
----
To be completely honest,
I’m not one to profess that I know what “love” is…
But when I see you two
Even though I may not really know what “love” is…
I’m convinced I’ve seen it
I’m convinced it exists
It was as simple as what was already so well known
So obvious to the rest of us
We’re only witnesses to what is so undeniable
It’s beyond all those love clichés and love quotes
And so much more than just what you hear in love songs
It was like...if you told her "roses are red…"
She knew "…violets are blue"
And just like that - the passionate fire that ignites
That was our proof of a simple and easygoing…
Well, simply put - the simple miracle of you two.
And it’s not really so “over the top”
Like either of you giving the other a piece of the universe
No crazy professions and attempts of writing your name across the sky
No gifts of the sun, moon, or the stars
Just a sunny, happy, and brightly lit piece of reality you share together
Something as quiet as a moonlit walk - hands held, fingers intertwined
And the peaceful moments that ensue
It’s something like a shine or that twinkle in your eyes
That almost made him make a wish any time she blinked
Because he mistakes her gaze for the stars illuminating the night sky
Since she was the bright light and shine in his life...
It was never “too much” of anything - no need to push past the bounds of time and space
No need for promises of eternity
Just an understanding and acceptance of the meant to be -
She knew you were her destiny
And gauging by the way she knows how to make him smile
And the way he knew how to win her heart and make it race
Though there was honestly no competition at all if they both won first place
They were probably slightly delirious -
(You probably didn’t even realize the profound effect that love had on you two)
Those butterflies fluttering in their stomachs
Making ‘em stutter when they speak
Leaving them both with those weak knees
And to be honest, that’s probably how they got knocked down so unexpectedly
It was simple - merely a simple twist of fate
A spin on a simple reality that made the ordinary things suddenly new
When he said forever, you just knew
When she claimed your heart, nothing but happiness would ensue
Just like when “the everyday words seem to turn into love songs”
You see, neither of you need the sun, the moon, or the stars
When destiny had its way
This was no dream come true - it was a fated path paved for the both of you
A God given journey that even made “forever” seem like it simply wasn’t long enough
You see; I may not really know what “love” is…
But I’m convinced I’ve seen it
And I’m so convinced it exists
It’s as simple as what was already so well known
So obvious to the rest of us
Because when you tell her "roses are red…"
She already knows "…violets are blue"
Our proof of the simple miracle of a God given love for the both of you.
So congratulations to your new life together
On your simply beautiful journey as you live life anew
With everyday, taking a step closer to your own happily ever after
Our proof that even if we don't know what love is - we know it truly exists
We just know that since roses are red...violets must be blue.
----
To be completely honest,
I’m not one to profess that I know what “love” is…
But when I see you two
Even though I may not really know what “love” is…
I’m convinced I’ve seen it
I’m convinced it exists
It was as simple as what was already so well known
So obvious to the rest of us
We’re only witnesses to what is so undeniable
It’s beyond all those love clichés and love quotes
And so much more than just what you hear in love songs
It was like...if you told her "roses are red…"
She knew "…violets are blue"
And just like that - the passionate fire that ignites
That was our proof of a simple and easygoing…
Well, simply put - the simple miracle of you two.
And it’s not really so “over the top”
Like either of you giving the other a piece of the universe
No crazy professions and attempts of writing your name across the sky
No gifts of the sun, moon, or the stars
Just a sunny, happy, and brightly lit piece of reality you share together
Something as quiet as a moonlit walk - hands held, fingers intertwined
And the peaceful moments that ensue
It’s something like a shine or that twinkle in your eyes
That almost made him make a wish any time she blinked
Because he mistakes her gaze for the stars illuminating the night sky
Since she was the bright light and shine in his life...
It was never “too much” of anything - no need to push past the bounds of time and space
No need for promises of eternity
Just an understanding and acceptance of the meant to be -
She knew you were her destiny
And gauging by the way she knows how to make him smile
And the way he knew how to win her heart and make it race
Though there was honestly no competition at all if they both won first place
They were probably slightly delirious -
(You probably didn’t even realize the profound effect that love had on you two)
Those butterflies fluttering in their stomachs
Making ‘em stutter when they speak
Leaving them both with those weak knees
And to be honest, that’s probably how they got knocked down so unexpectedly
It was simple - merely a simple twist of fate
A spin on a simple reality that made the ordinary things suddenly new
When he said forever, you just knew
When she claimed your heart, nothing but happiness would ensue
Just like when “the everyday words seem to turn into love songs”
You see, neither of you need the sun, the moon, or the stars
When destiny had its way
This was no dream come true - it was a fated path paved for the both of you
A God given journey that even made “forever” seem like it simply wasn’t long enough
You see; I may not really know what “love” is…
But I’m convinced I’ve seen it
And I’m so convinced it exists
It’s as simple as what was already so well known
So obvious to the rest of us
Because when you tell her "roses are red…"
She already knows "…violets are blue"
Our proof of the simple miracle of a God given love for the both of you.
So congratulations to your new life together
On your simply beautiful journey as you live life anew
With everyday, taking a step closer to your own happily ever after
Our proof that even if we don't know what love is - we know it truly exists
We just know that since roses are red...violets must be blue.
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