never know.

i never want to know what it's like
to have never met you
...wondering will suffice.
only to remind me
how necessary your presence was
to me
in my life
and you
i never want to know what it's like
to forget you
trying my hardest
to remember every little detail
will be enough
to remind me
how wonderful every moment i can remember
is and always will be

and i wonder if at the end of your life
you thought to yourself
that you were glad to have met me
that you were so glad to have known me
that if ever you remembered a day of me
it was one in which i made you happier
and not burdened...
not frustrated...
but at ease and at peace...
because that's all i ask for you
in your final moments of rest
in your final moments away from us
i only wish you peace
and i can always wonder
what my life would have been like
if i had never met you
i wonder what i would be like
had i never known who you were
had i never spoke to you at all
i wonder often if you remembered me at all
in your final breaths
if you inhaled anything i said
and if you exhaled a sigh of remembrance of me
and i know your passing has nothing to do with me
the world lost you
and even then, i cannot grieve enough to show you
how we are burdened by your absence
knowing that the world will never be the same
it will still turn
but i'll only be able to view it
through tearful eyes
watery
blurred vision
like my memories of you
and with time...
i'll wonder again
if you remembered me at all
if my presence in your life was anything more to you
than a simple thought in passing

but i thank the world
as it turns in my blurred vision
that with my tearful eyes
and my weakened hands that wipe those tears away
that i will only have to wonder
but i'll never have to know for sure
how my life would have been without you...