never finished

...this was supposed to help me out. maybe it kinda did because i dont know how to continue writing on it since ive passed my anger/frustration. i figure it isnt worth it being that angry and to finish writing it means re-living it and i dont want to be angry. especially not at you even though i have every right to be. its unfinished like most of what i write and i've intentionally mis-spelled two words but whatever here we go

i hope this doesnt fall on deaf ears
i'm realizing now that i have to be heard
to tell a story that's slightly absurd
now i'm trying to make sense
and straighten out my words
cuz for now they're just sort of stumbling out
when they should be on fire aimeed straight for her heart.
and i know theres a few who can relate to what im talking about.
so breathe in...
calm cool and steady...
WAIT FUCK THAT
this weapon is cocked back
and my words are aimeed and ready.
ready to explode
to spread my thoughts
that i've been trying to hold.
how could you...HOW COULD YOU!!!...
say those things that kept me strung along
every lyric had me believing every word of you song
when i was wrong
it was just a melody i wanted to hear
like keeping the song in my head
was a false pretense to keeping you near
because a girl like you was something i wanted to revere
you werent scared of lions tigers and bears
yet loving me was something scary
and so i was your silent secret that hid in closets and closed mouths
because you were too damn scared of speaking out
but little did they know you held my hand and called me baby
we hid under bed sheets and drove each other crazy
because behind closed doors you were mine
and for you that seemed fine
but my love doesnt cower and it doesnt place blame
so what we had is now burning up in flames
and i promised myself after this poem i recite
that i can forget you and what you were to me
as i blow these ashes out the mic.