a good fit.

[freewrite]

i feel like i'm bursting outta my skin
just to remember when my bones felt solid
i'm struggling to feel like breathing's gonna take me places
instead i find myself living from inhale to exhale
forgetting everything that ensued inbetween
forgetting i had aims to pursue something inbetween

and in the middle of all of this chaotic noise
i find myself struggling to hear your echos
distorted in all of this mess of a life
confused up in a language i forgot to study more

i'm tied up and tired of tying loose ends
just so i feel connected at the end of the day
but i'll admit, i was hardly ever well put together
just barely catching myself after i trip and slip up
making missteps with this heavy heart pulling me down

and in the middle of all this quiet inner insanity
i'm on a mission to make amends
my heart and my head have got to make up their mind
let reason coincide with the unreasonable heart of mine
i've got this
i'm down for all the uncertainty i'm pursuing here
in the middle of a struggle to remember a time and a place
a good fit where we made good sense
and maybe in the end of it
i won't have to keep tying our loose ends together
days when we couldn't make it make sense
days when the struggle was impossible to cure
but my heart knows better
i know our time has passed and i'm lost looking for that spot
that place we belonged

i don't know where you fit now
but i know your memory is tucked safely away
in my past.
and now (for now)
...that makes complete sense.