freewrite: mismatched

loving you is like an itch i can't scratch.
and dammit, it's one of those that moves around too.
it's painful sometimes.
frustrating at others times
but amidst all the negative things i can point out about it -
all it comes down to is the fact that it's there;
whether i gave you permission or not
it doesn't seem to matter -
you invade my thoughts
and i swear i feel helpless enough to just surrender.

the mere fact alone makes me feel hopeless.
who wants to feel this way.
who wants to admit these types of things.
who in the world would want to honestly say that
someone's got a hold of their heart
and doesn't even care?
maybe that's why i can say it breaks often.

to be completely honest,
i'm a little tired and emotionally drained
and it's getting to be really heavy on the heart for me.
i know you probably think that
i'm bound to say something real sweet and poetic about you,
but loving you is frustrating.
and we, the living half heartedly
the bruised, but still alive
the painful, yet existing
loving, yet unloved
those of us...that hurt for the mere
presence and absence of mismatched emotions
...we don't listen to love songs the same.