truth

i'd like to say that there is hope
but i don't know if there was
...or is
and i find myself being too scared
to write in the present tense
vulnerability hitting me so strongly
my weak knees are already failing to keep me grounded
losing my grip on the reality of who i was without you
too worried that i'll have to find out the hard way
then i get too afraid to speak too soon
and write of you in the past tense
hands write tense
and the tension cramps up my thoughts
i'm not free
captivated and trapped in the moments of you
frozen in our winter kisses
missing our summer heat
and childish as it seems
i don't want to admit that it's over now
and maybe if i don't say it out loud
the truth won't hear me
reality won't catch me
and they'll forget to grasp onto it
onto what i already know
is too true