made it through

this moment. the happiness i feel
real.
genuine,
sincere.

moments like these,
rendering all the sacrifices worth it
struggles to hold on, versus giving it all up

i quiet the impulse that claims i don't deserve this
because i've always yearned to be happy

in the past a heavy heart i've carried
unaware of how to care for my wounds
unable to escape the vicious cycle
imprisoned by lack of principle
believing there was no where else to go

"thank you", my heart exclaims
because i know this feeling
the feeling opposite of my experiences in whole
unfamiliar yet powerful
fear-inducing and inspiring

i tear down the walls i've built to guard myself
and i am terrified, afraid.
i find myself getting in my own way.
but what good is there in being helpless?

faith turns each of these weaknesses away.