redefine

the angels guide me
watching over me
from fever to heartache
from painful tears to joyous greetings
i feel ever so protected in your care
living in this realm of reality
knowing that you are my only solace

and though often i am weary
so many times you find me
almost too tired to clasp my own hands together in prayer
fingers strained and aching from years of carrying burdens
while still grasping onto faith and hope dearly...

dear god
a prayer to you
that you
though still crafting the beautiful rainbows that illuminate your powers
color by color
stretching from palaces
connecting oceans across nations
though still praised by others more worthy than i
in song they enhance your glory
in melody they outline your grace
and in harmony they manipulate words to have more beautiful meanings

redefine me father,
to overcome the human in me
and recognize your strength in me
that i may know you
that i may remember you
in every passing second
within each inhale
and through every blink

and with this,
i may know your love
and one day soon
i may walk alongside the angels
whom you had sent to guide me before
when i see you again

Random thoughts of you possess my current mind
It seems I haven’t left my hopes of you behind
I’ll always question why we didn’t seem to work out
Whether it was you, whether it was me, I’ll always have my doubts

I remember the first day that I met you
I gave you a simple hi excluding the how are you
I passed by you like you were nothing to me
Oblivious to the fact that you already liked me

Somehow the hellos turned into I’ll call yous
And the flirtatious smiles into me being close to you
The simple telling of our characteristics
Turned into the outpouring of our past statistics

I couldn’t believe that you accepted what I had done
Giving myself to you was something that could never be done
Because I myself couldn’t give you me
Since I had already given myself when I was fifteen

God, how I wished that I hadn’t given myself away
That I waited to give myself on my wedding day
I never had regretted doing what I had done
Until this little romance of ours had begun

Why did you have to accept me the way you did
Make me cry tears of your bittersweet acid
The acid that made you give up me as your equal
On what seemed a series without a sequel

Why our love affair had to end
Or why my heart lacks the ability to mend
Over you, over us, over what you done to my life
Over the inexplicable, never healing, always present day strife

You were the knight on the beautiful white horse
Saving me from pain and sorrow so coarse
But you forgot to give me a happily ever after
Filled with love, joy, tears, and laughter

Instead you moved on in a few weeks time
Realizing I wasn’t your career, but only part time
Part time in your life, part time in your heart
Ended up being a fraction you tore apart

surplus

emotion surplus, mind and thoughts robust, instincts froze up, love opens up, eyes open wide, deeply she sighed, the tired groan in her voice, the sexy way she shuts herself off, the way i sip on lust, the way i want to cry, the glint that's in my eye, the one thing on my mind, her ridiculous seductive smile, every moment is denial, the distance and the miles, the wrecking ball to my glass house, the cracks in my chest, the butterflies on her back, in my stomach, the way she scares me with possible guile, the stripes and the colors, the taste of too much sugar, the swelling in my heart, the way she says profanities, the way i lose my sanity, the cold night air, the train whistle blares, triple vision and blurred moon stares, eyeing my lost soul, wandering streets after midnight hours, forever alone yet always surrounded, freezing cold yet always on fire, i love the feeling of the syre as i am swept upstream against newton's laws of undeniable powers, peace now, sleep well, dream wild.

"freedom"

my performance for my high school talent show: (one part in the clip skips for some reason. kinda weird, but whatever)

anyways...
up on stage, whoah man...i felt so much energy. there was roughly 600 people in the audience. and i was surprised i wasn't even nervous. i fed off of the growing energy and let it out. and oh what a feeling it was...

for o.ate

i don't even know what to say
i listened to this song thinking of you today
there's something bout the thought of you
that causes me to follow through
and release my need to create

but yr the type to thieve vocabulary
from the verbose
and i find myself staring at the screen
shooting blanks

http://www.zshare.net/audio/kev_brown-albany-mp3.html

word

words; hype life up with metaphors and hyperbole. paragraphs float on the white page like god up in heaven. theses describe the world affairs with biased crosshairs. times new roman in a twelve point font is the only acceptable way to speak. show individualism and speak your mind as long as you fit that certain guideline to be sufficiently uniform with the rest of the unique creatures. type up the letter to the editor to be shredded with the rest of the ideas and national opinions. paper media prints itself in a boring and uninteresting fashion; paints itself black and white in a world of neon eclecticism. the bias runs deep in the veins of the news anchor, the blogger, the columnist, the editor. personality reverts back to impersonal reality. speak easy and breathe hard. ye olde printing press is heavy on the heart.

between lines of poetry

...you spoke to me in poetry
i wrote you poetry of prose
we sang songs to each other
during the opposite days of night
i needed you
you loved me
i held you
you made me feel like less of a person
less incomplete
less ignorant
and less defined by my faults
i was more of a whole
i felt less of a need
and had more of a soul
because of you...

we were a work of art
and look upon us
you'll see a story of two lovers
who had somehow grown apart
as they spoke two different languages
they spoke between lines of poetry
kissed each other through metaphors
and fell through the gaps of their reality...
that was written in prose...

repetitions

trapped inside a score for so long,
i seem to be only able to write with this song on loop.
bound to the page and chained,
like staying within the guidelines of a coloring book.
these patterns become all too cliche,
and just like those guidelines,
my days have become the same,
obnoxiously outlined with thick lines,
and they're all filled in with an off gray.
colorless to the touch im seeking ways to fill in each gap,
so i pray.
i pray that in some way i can relieve this tension,
this war i fight in my head,
the one striving to reach a new plain.
an everlasting moonlight...
a stained psyche ..
a new pain...
despite the self-treason, i jus embrace the rain.
i confront the blasphemy...
i override the name...
i coincide with the opposite and brush off the shame.
so these mirrors refuse to reflect the image of the sun,
which instead, results an image of evil's aim.
so i stare straight into it until my brain goes numb,
constantly trying to undo my past,
to this repetitive tune that continuously hits glass.
reverbing into the room and echoing into the attic.
multiplying the repetition of the music,
becoming an insomniac addict.
and the more i think,
the more it just stays the same.
i must take action and shouldn't leave it up to blame.







EnD

rebellion

i don't know particularly why, but after i finished scribbling this one, i just called it "rebellion" -- probably because it was originally expressive of growth, and then it just went haywire back to regular scribbles...go figure. how indicative of where i am in life =P

anyyyway, THEN i started playing w/ how it would look w/ different photoshopped thingys. funn funn

and you can click on the picture to see it in better detail

the overly dramatic truth

here's an excerpt from one of my favorite hip-hop artist to date. his style is living proof that there are a few intellectuals that wont dumb it down for you.. unless it comes to talking about a relationship. this is one of my favorites off his newest album..

el-p - 'the overly dramatic truth'

i became for you what you had asked
telepath
you're too young to ask out loud
i'm too old to not know that
i can talk like you've not heard
i know weapons
you think words i exposed you to these terms
you still chose to roll unheard
that could work but
not so fast
you're so open
i'm so crass
i'm too weak to hold that back
you still think intrigue will last
you can't imagine of my past
i just can't explain all that
i wish i could trade you're place
so romantic full of faith
i must spare you
i must learn
i refuse to be your first
first to put you in your place
first to make you speed your pace
i'm a man now (good or bad)
you're a girl still (good for you)
don't think this don't make me sad
this is something i must do

keep you own time (leave me be)
trying to spare you (trying to be)
god melodic (man on fire)
coward long gone (all desire)
fuck you raw now (it's my fault)
fuck you raw dog (i can't stop)
should have listened
should have left
i can't stop unless you jet
it's so simple.. open head
i will nit my savage thread
help me help you (walk away)
leave this un-amazing grace
you don't know from pure disgrace
you still think i'm here to save
i'm not even really here
i can't give what i can't take


there's more but you should listen to the song for its full effect.. heres a link to dl the song, it'll last 7 days

http://download.yousendit.com/AEFBBFC55907A20F