a strong word.

i'm not too accustomed to referring to hate
in its entirety
in its honesty
in its bitterness

...but damn.
i hate him.

i, leaning on my own knees
and learning to cry on my own shoulders
can honestly say
my hate for him runs deep

i was told that hate can only exist for something you care deeply for
and yes,
i care deeply for the hatred i bear for you
i care for the person you hurt deeply
i care for the little girl cowering in her bed
sleeping in the fetal position
rubbing her own hands to feel warmth again
and i care
that you didn't care
to take care of her

you see,
i am sick of remembering you
so if i have to waste anymore time remembering you
i want the memories to be accurate
pictures emblazoned with lies
and promises distinctly broken

and yes,
i understand that we all make mistakes
we can't live our lives in regret
and that's why i'm making sure i won't forget
i don't want to regret not letting you know
that i am sick of you
i am tired of your face
because within each of your smiles
i see the devil pinching your cheeks through your dimples

and yes,
i have been told that hate is a strong word
i just hope it's strong enough to accurately express
what i feel for you.