her bangs.

freewriteeee

she had one too many streaks of worry
wrapped in the strands of her hair
she pulled it back in a tight ponytail
tied it away in avoidance
hoping they wouldn't notice her weaknesses
if they were flowing freely above her shoulders
tightened with discouraged shrugs
of all she tried to ignore...
she had her bangs long -- like a shield
draped them over her face
so they could cover her eyes
from all the visions that pained her

her mother pushed her hair out of her face
and told her, "you are so beautiful
don't hide your face behind your hair..."
she stroked her cheek and pushed her bangs aside

the bright lights hit her eyes too quickly
she couldn't help but squint
the world was too ugly to take in
everytime she opened her eyes wide
she saw little girls being kidnapped
and raped and abused
men beating their wives
people in poverty and homelessness
soldiers dying for no cause
governments justifying genocide
and she couldn't help but wish she could
just change the world
steal their pain away
heal their illnesses
because she couldn't stand to see it

as her mother again forced her to witness
the world and all its cruelties
with one stroke of her hand to her hair
like opening a veil to a stage of all her fears
she began to cry
her cheeks wet with hopelessness
knowing she couldn't cry for them
and release their anxieties through her tears
knowing she couldn't heal their pain
and make it all feel better
knowing she couldn't promise happiness
she couldn't do anything
she wanted to change the world...

but her mother, seeing her tears,
reminded her
"daughter...this world is cruel
unjust it may seem
but for all sadness there is hope for a smile
a need to twist your mouth first before it brightens
do not look down to the ground
of those sitting in the midst of pain
of those crying their days away
eyes lowered to miss the rest of what is truly there
but raise your eyes to the sky
and remember
...we do not look down to be pained
to witness all that troubles us
all that we cannot change
all that we may not be able to understand
but we look up
to heaven
with faith
and believe..."

she looked up
to realize the sun could dry her tears away
...as she brushed her bangs aside.