Hurts so bad.

it isn't easy to
manage my time wisely
without compromising my sanity kindly,
to suppress my cough, wheeze, or weakness
while at work getting by, keeping my flu a secret,
to say it's all good but hold back all the bad
not unleashing my demons but secreting these feelings with a dab,
to keep my eyes open reading these books or on the road
for keying essays or writing speeches when i'd rather key on my rhodes,
it isn't easy to do those things
but nobody said it would be,
nobody said what someone should have noted
that if i weigh everyone's satisfaction on my shoulders,
there's no way my own would get noticed
nobody said i would feel so weary and dreary,
that happiness is pursued and not promised through our rights in theory
nobody said it very clearly, that i would be lost,
making things work the way i wanted, that i'd be bossed
around, i'd be crossed with confusion and stares
for identifying as a minority in a college that don't care
i could have been more prepared,
i would have opened my eyes wider,
i should have climbed the highest tree, and jumped even higher
so is this poem's what i get when all is done and said,
or will i regret another decision to add right here instead?