sketchy freewrite

totally sketchy freewrite but hey, had to get it out

i remember when he told me that we weren't meant to be
i didn't want to believe it
so i didn't
but in time i realized this pain was so real
he had to be right
so i left...
we were opposite in heart
so we headed opposite directions

but i never could understand it
i had yet to learn to unlearn him
forget the feel of his palm in my hand
or the way his mouth would stay open when he was sincerely shocked
or to pretend i didn't notice his nervous jokes
i had yet to learn to unlearn knowing him all too well
because he told me it was all too much
and no, things weren't all good...

and finally it hits
but the pain of the impact isn't as it used to be
because when we used to be
all i knew was he
he, who shined me past my flaws
he, who knew me past my walls
but then i learned that it was he...
i had to shine him past me
my life can't sustain him anymore

...so that's what he meant
when he said it wasn't meant to be

so finally when it hit
i finally understood
it wasn't meant to be
he was just right
so i left
but in actuality
we were one in heart
holding up the rainbow from opposite sides
watching miracles collapse into our dreams
balancing the beautiful existences
exactly what was meant to be
even though it wasn't "we"