barrage! (3 in 1)

the shadows form constellations of light that dance for hours along the uneven surfaces of the cement walkways. the breezeway funnels in cool air to both shelter and expose us to the elements of nature. as the ferns reach in every direction to find the sun, i sit here mesmerized by my lack of motivation towards all walks of life. i sit here and claw my brain until it bleeds the words i must force to drop onto these blank canvases. if you constantly have to force something, is it ever really worth it? if i must decide between monotony and exuberance, i'd go for monotony, but i'd disguise it in exuberance to fool the blood-thirsty fiends who feed on the uninspired minds of youth.


walking these streets with only my jangling keys while the late night air nips at my fingers is the only escape from the confines of my cave of white snow. i walk for hours with no destinations, end up in the same old places. the major part of this city is so sad now, nothing but drunk businessmen and transient men snoring while shaking gently in a bus stop. the smell of marijuana wafts across me every time i walk past a house with a dull blue aura in the window. the art in this city is ridiculously repetitive with the same six figures painted on every corner and the numerous unpracticed and illegible scrawls on the walls. paint covers the paint until more paint covers that paint and so on. this slow, quiet little city is the one in which i was raised. i am forced to feel love for the place when all i really want to do is escape...


awaken rudely, in an enjoyable way. the dull light shines through the window's shades. the sounds of breathing and rain trickling fill my world. the gently throbbing light from the computer on the desk lights up the roof every three seconds. stomach empty, eyes full, mind vacant, heart sore. the warmth in the sheets and comfort in the dreamstate uplift the thoughts to the ceiling, but they cannot escape any higher than that. no dreamy ideas for the heavens this morning, just the taste of stale breath like cigarettes and the soft sound of the rain on newly fallen leaves.