No more feeling inside this body of mine
Only the feeling of numbness and emptiness deep inside
Thoughts…But no emotions run through my mind
And All I seem to feel is pain
Every now and then I catch a glimpse of happiness
Happiness caused by laughter but is lost within a split second
A quick rare moment in time
When people look at me
All they see is a front
Fake smiles, fake thoughts. Lies made to myself
A front created by me in order to escape any questions
Reaching a new level of schizophrenia
The real, expressive, innocent version of me is trapped inside
Deep down hidden under numerous locks and mazes
Trying to find a way out but unable to due to fear of rejection
The minute I begin to let him come out and reveal himself
Others come to me with their issues
And I sacrifice myself to help them
I feel for others yet not for myself
Not trying to be selfish, but I hate this feeling deep inside
This feeling of pain at the pit of my stomach.
And the feeling of a loss of breath and staggered step
Heart pounding, beating loudly, yet there is no reason to it.
No reason I can find, searching my heart mind and soul
There are some that try to get inside
Those that feel and relate to me
The select few that know how I really am. Or think they do.
In reality. There is none who knows me
It’s impossible for others to know me if I don’t know myself.
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