happy anniversary grandma

i know i have put this up
but its been 4 years yesterday since grandma left and i just wanted to put it up for her again

orignal post
GRANDMA... By EJ

This morning I woke up
And you were already up
You were in the kitchen about to cook
Me some bacon…
I told you grandma
I’m going to school
When I come home cook ok…
I said goodbye
Not knowing it was my last goodbye into the
Clear crystal blue brown eyes of you…
Your last words to me
“drive safely”
and that’s all I can remember
standing there was my last image…of you
getting ready to cook me my breakfast..
it keeps replaying in my head
why didn’t I sit down and eat with you
why didn’t I sit down and thank you
at work
I was getting all these calls and I cant check um..
I get a emergency
Blind to see the truth that was awaiting me
I denied the truth and believed in my own reality…
But in the 15 min drive
My whole life flashed before my eyes…
At 18 it would be my first closest lost..
But in myself I was already lost
18 years ago you were there
till this morning you were here
in my heart you were there
and in my heart you still are here
in my eyes you are a FILIPINA
Filipina pioneer
Paved the way for generations to come
Stood up for the generations to come
Loved and took care of me for my next generations to come
I remember as a little one
I never left you
I was always next to you
I never slept anywhere else except
Between you and grandpa…
Even when I moved away I came back and still slept with you…
You disciplined me when I was young…
You Flashed me when I was wrong…
It was the sickest thing I’ve ever seen
But your point always got across to me…
Even though I couldn’t understand…your point got across..
Cuz you are strong...
Grandma you are strong...
I thought I lost you before
But you came back and supported me even more
And this brings me to thanking you
But losing you left me empty with a blank history of
What you went through for me…
Like Jose Rizal once said
“Those who don’t recognize where they came from, will never get where they are going…”
I was tossed into the slaughter house
And muted of my native tongue
It was the one thing that would have connected our souls
It was the one element that would have created the
More being of me
It would have completed my history..
ALL I WANTED WITH YOU WAS A CONVERSATION…
I WAS ROBBED OF MY TONGUE AND I WAS ROBBED of MY TIME WITH YOU
Becuz I would always struggle just trying to say
I love you…
Grandma..
All those times at the kitchen table…silence…
I wasn’t hungry to eat my food
I was hungry to entertain you..
Grandma I wanted to know how you got to be you…
I just wanted your advice
But everytime it came out
It was foreign to my ears…and I would stand there and stare…
Wanting to understand
Grandma...
I want to understand you…
And this morning was my last chance…
And flash…
I’m running to the emergency room...silence again..
I open the door to a utopian white room
With you in the center
Grandma…
Grandma…grandma...
Grandma wake up
I want to say hi…
Grandma, I didn’t get to cook your rice...
Grandma please open your eyes…
And everytime I cried on your face I thought your eyelids opened
But reality collapsed on me
And again my heart broken..

Grandma…
Grandma
I’m sorry I didn’t eat breakfast with you…thank you...
I hold your hand...
Kiss your forehead
Close me eyes and say goodbye….

Goodbye to piece of my history
That lied in your life
Thank you for always being true…
Thank you…
I love you…
Grandma…

RIP