expression of how i feel at the moment....its a group of feelings...that i feel so this wont make sense at all..but it does to me..have fun


i made the scars before i left them on their hearts
it was just a mere memory of what they will always remember me by...
as if heavens hammer knocked on my door today
and welcomed me back to reality
ive been living in my own world for so long
i forgot what it tastes like
or do i even know what it tastes like to love?
i was probably given the chance many times but
selfishly i crumpled that paper and threw it behind me
missing the real trash...so i never real did move on from it..

you cant forgive me for what ive done
its been done and i sly helplessly into solitude
deciding that is where i needed to be
my wants should have never mattered
because it just ended up all into a disrespectful action
i cant beg you to give me another time with you
i believe this was supposed to happen
its life...simple but hardships are part of it
sitting in this haven of holiness i can only but think of
denegration of self respect

why do i do things that make me who i dont want to be
it was all just a vision
never solid enough for my ego to grasp
i confront this trouble with the upmost strength
believing someday i will pull through
i fell today and it didnt hurt
my source of pride will solely ly in his open arms
but i know trusting and finally to let go is all i have to do...
it was never about me or finding me or changing me
im already who i am

ive hurt people to realize they can become stronger
or at this moment right now
do i see why i was sent to change others life
was i just a pawn to this entire game
i cant make-believe my beliefs
i have to believe in myself first to fix what is needed
no matter the pain i endure
ill have strength to move on until it is time for me to return home

And signs are so evident after the scene is completed
i have always asked for a foreshadow
but now shadoes force me towards them
because thats where i must confide
leave me alone is all i ask
leave me alone with him
and ill return knowing my life is supposed to be like this
i dont blame anyone but myself
and the first step i must forgive I
and never forget

i tell you...i cant barely stand the wind from your words
they force me to buckle under your love
my voice doesnt matter to you
if i could paint the canvas of my heart
to show you im sorry
it would portray a White Rose
saying you were as pure as anyone could be
i didnt trust you because i didnt trust myself
and you have everyone right to hate me...and i do too..
but i never told you this...
and i hope in time love conquers all obstacles
but i cant hope to believe you have anything for me
because finally i got what i needed...

to be alone no one to help me
no one at all..but god...